My mother of blessed memory dressed us well. She shopped at OshKosh B’gosh in the City, Widensky's in Flatbush, Nathan’s in Williamsburg, and other boutiques that had cute and sharp clothing for her kids. I still remember my beloved 4th grade teacher, Rabbi Zeiler, calling me “Flashlight,” referring to my loud, perhaps bold, clothing with bright colors that he valued.
There is a part of us that appreciates good taste in clothing. It feels good and it enhances our presence to those around us.
In Judaism, clothing has a special place. The Priests and High Priests in the Holy Temple wore unique, sacred clothing that had to be woven and donned in a very specific fashion. Modest clothing for men and women that covers the intimate parts of our bodies is discussed at length in the Code of Jewish Law. Wearing special clothing on Shabbos and holidays is cherished in Judaism, even referring to it endearingly as “Shabbos clothes” in observant Jewish communities.
Maimonides writes that if a Sage of Israel, a Talmid Chacham, has a speck of dirt on their clothing, they are grave sinners and are liable for the death penalty. While that seems extreme (and perhaps we can be grateful that we aren’t such great sages), it’s clearly indicating the importance of presenting ourselves properly. The Talmud says that Rav Yochanan referred to clothing as “honor,” indicating this same idea. Albert Einstein once said, “If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies.... It would be a sad situation if the wrapper were better than the meat wrapped inside it.” So, while we shouldn’t get carried away on the externalities of clothing–internal values matter way morethere is value in our presentation.
Growing up, it wasn’t just about the clothing; there was a standard to be classy. My mother and grandmother, Bubbe Esther, would always tell me to tuck in my shirt. My Bubbe was disappointed when she saw Chabad kids in the neighborhood who were unkempt. She, as well as my Zayde and my Israeli Savta, always dressed to the nines, though their styles were very different.
When our kids were born and Chavie started shopping for modest kids clothing, especially Shabbos clothing, I was baffled by the prices. With passing years, a larger family, and the gift of inflation, these garments cost more than ever, but when I see the kids dressed for school or heading to Shul on Shabbos, I smile at their elegance, their cuteness, and the fun that exudes from the clothing Chavie purchased for them.
I know in Montana this can all seem sacrilegious. We don’t emphasize a dress code in the Wild West. Yet this is the Torah that I am sharing and something we should all ponder, even on our cattle ranch. It’s true that most Montanans don’t own a proper suit and wear cowboy boots and Levi’s all the time (years ago, I heard a fellow at the cleaners talking about the jeans he was getting dry cleaned for his own wedding!!!), yet we have to be frank about the state of clothing in America and reintroduce some class and holiness into our wardrobes. Too many people shop at Walmart and fly on airplanes in their pajamas. Too often, people walk down the street wearing little or provocative clothing. We can change that one outfit at a time.
For me personally, it’s complicated.
On many days, especially on long flights or drives, I enjoy wearing my Lululemons and a comfortable sweatshirt, but I also feel so much better about myself when I am wearing my rabbinic clothing. About eighteen months ago, I found a clothier in New York, Melech of Biago, who measured me up and ever since has tailored good quality clothing that fits me properly, not too baggy, not too tight, not too long, and not too short. It’s more elegant, and it makes a real difference to my self-image and, based on the compliments, it is welcomed by others too.
I don’t think black-tie, elegant clothing is for everyone all the time, but dressing down is not a Torah value either. The Torah wants G-d’s people to dress as representatives of the Jewish nation. Perhaps, and this is for everyone, we could start with Shabbos and Jewish holiday clothing. Go shopping and take your family along and purchase a few items of Shabbos or Yom Tov clothing so that when you’re going to Shul, going to a Simcha, heading to a Pesach Seder or Rosh Hashana service, you can take out your beautiful Shabbos clothing and get into the mood of the holy day.
You’ll thank me, and my Bubbe Esther.
