I just returned from a few days in New York, where Shoshana and I commemorated the Rebbe’s 23rdYahrtzait at his resting place in Queens, just before she departed by bus to Gan Israel summer camp in Haliburton, 160 miles Northeast of Toronto, Ontario. It took years for me to realize that one can maneuver with ease through chaotic New York, when being extra nice and gracious to those we encounter. Whether a Dollar-Rent-a-Jalopy shuttle bus driver or a waitress in the many fine restaurants; kindness and softness gets me a lot further than roughness.
In this week’s Torah portion, Chukat, we read the infamous tale of Moses hitting the rock, extracting water to quench the thirst of the Jewish people. G-d had told him to speak to the rock but he chose to hit it instead. So often we act like Moses. We encounter certain friends, relatives or acquaintances and we feel like we are talking to an unmovable stone. We decide “enough is enough” and we start hitting the stone instead, hoping for the desired results. At times, we may even succeed with our hitting, and extract something positive from the human stone, but its long-term effects will be judged unfavorably. The explanation for Moses’ action has been discussed for three thousand years, but what will be said about us in 3000 years, can be decided today.
We all fail from time to time; losing our cool when under too much pressure or experiencing an overload of anxiety. Yet, as I continue to learn myself, we must communicate softly and calmly, as this will not only strengthen our inner equilibrium, but also make it a lot easier for the recipient, whether child or otherwise, to listen. Whenever wild Menny gets out of control (which happens regularly), I “try” to call him over, whisper in his ear the message I want him to hear. It doesn’t always work, but it certainly catches his attention way more than when I raise my voice or threaten him with time-out. As Shoshana was boarding the bus and I said goodbye, I reminded her to “treat the other campers the way she’d like to be treated”.
We like sweet words way more than the rod, let’s treat others the same way.
May G-d guard our brethren in Israel and the world over from harm and send us Moshiach speedily. May He protect the armed forces of Israel and the United States wherever they may be. Shabbat Shalom! Chazak!!! L'Chaim!!!